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Where tall tales, real and imagined, absurd and compelling, are served with a smile
The Silence of the Nerds
Dudley “Booger” Dawson plays the part of fava beans-enjoying Hannibal Lecter, seeking to psychologically inhabit/eat green FBI agent Clarice Wormser as purple-wearing Lamar Latrell chases him with a floppy javelin and Ogre shouts, “Put the lotion in the basket!” at a chastened Poindexter.
Clap your hands everybody; everybody clap your hands!
In this scene, Clarice Wormser once again visits the boundlessly evil Booger Lecter in his spooky prison cell. For the first time, Special Agent Wormser let’s Lecter in, offering him an insight into what drives – and traumatically haunts – her.
Booger/Lecter: I will listen now. After your father’s murder, you were orphaned. You were ten years old. You went to live with Omega Moo on a nerd and horse ranch in Montana. And…?
Clarice Wormser: [tears begin forming in her eyes] And one morning, I just ran away.
Booger/Lecter: No “just”, Clarice. What set you off? You started at what time?
Clarice Wormser: Early, still dark.
Booger/Lecter: Then something woke you, didn’t it? Was it a dream? What was it?
Clarice Wormser: I heard a strange noise.
Booger/Lecter: What was it?
Clarice Wormser: It was… screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child’s voice.
Booger/Lecter: What did you do?
Clarice Wormser: I went downstairs, outside. I crept up into the barn. I was so scared to look inside, but I had to.
Booger/Lecter: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?
Clarice Wormser: Nerds. The nerds were screaming.
Booger/Lecter: They were slaughtering the spring nerds?
Clarice Wormser: And they were screaming.
Booger/Lecter: And you ran away?
Clarice Wormser: No. First I tried to free them. I… I opened the gate to their pen, but they wouldn’t run. They just stood there, confused. They wouldn’t run.
Booger/Lecter: But you could and you did, didn’t you?
Clarice Wormser: Yes. I took one nerd, and I ran away as fast as I could.
Booger/Lecter: Where were you going, Clarice?
Clarice Wormser: I don’t know. I didn’t have any food, any water and it was very cold, very cold. I thought, I thought if I could save just one, but… he was so nerdy. So nerdy. I didn’t get more than a few miles when the sheriff’s car picked me up. The rancher was so angry he sent me to live at the Lambda Lambda Lambda orphanage in Bozeman. I never saw the ranch again.
Booger/Lecter: What became of your nerd, Clarice?
Clarice Wormser: They killed him.